69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
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You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is โa homewrecking whoreโ. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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