my being single is dangerous.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
