We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
