so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
