I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize