Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
