So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
