Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
that is very illegal...i love you.
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