Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
