Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
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I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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