No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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