Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
