just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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