He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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