I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sext me about skeletons
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
