The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
