It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
