You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
