Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
