you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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