It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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