You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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