I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
