do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
