and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
