are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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