used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
