In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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