I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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