Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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