You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
