I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
