yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
