im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
