I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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