My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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