I skipped work to stalk him.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
