brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
