Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
