I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
