i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
