Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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