We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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