i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
