You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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