I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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