youre lurking in front of me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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