saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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