Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
