Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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