Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
