Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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