in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
