A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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