theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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