i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
