I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
another moral hangover. fuck.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
