whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
