We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
