you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
